A Love Triangle? Part One

Never in my life did I ever think i’d feel like I was stuck in a love triangle, but it happened. I’ll try to make this story as short as possible so here goes. I have a friend that i’ve known for a few years. I’ve known him longer than my boyfriend. That friend and I are the same age. We always got along and had some similar interests, but we were never anything more than friendly around each other. I never even felt attraction to him like that. One thing we always had in common is our taste in music. We both appreciate all genres of music as an art. Literally everything from classical to country. He’d heard me sing just from playing music on my laptop or in the car and sining along; so one day last year around this time he hit me up and said “I decided to work on a mixtape and I’d like to see if we can write a song.” At first I thought it was a joke. I never knew he had interests in becoming an artist or that he wrote music, but my reaction was just like “yeah yeah whatever. I’ll hear what you’ve got and maybe write something with you.” When I actually heard the first song he wrote though, I was really impressed and shocked; he’s talented! I’ve always written personal poems when I feel emotional so i thought “hey maybe we could write something cool together.” I never knew if my poems could be reflected as songs. So anyways, we started spending a lot more time together. We’d go to the studio, stay up all night and write music. I’m close friends with his older sister, who’s also like an older sis to me as well and I was friends with her first, she introduced us. lol His younger brother and I have a cool bond. He’ll ask me to help with reading Quran or answering a physics question. His mom was helping to teach me their west african language and his dad bought be an engraved bracelet from their country that everyone in the family has. So yeah, we were quite close. Even though we did music and contradicted if we should stop all the time; we’d still sit and listen to Islamic lectures together and I always liked watching how serious he took his prayers, because it was motivation for me. We definitely created a strong bond during this time and eventually attraction became a factor hard to avoid. 
My boyfriend and I were going through a really weird patch. I think he started to question the whole “relationship” thing. And he basically said he felt like he wasn’t gonna have any time for me anymore (he’s an engineering major). He said he wanted a break. Un-agreeably i expressed to him that it was fine, but a break for me means altogether, not anything in between and that he shouldn’t expect me to be waiting around for him if he’d decide he wanted me back. We got in a huge argument, and then within like an hour, he’s calling me saying he doesn’t wanna split but just doesn’t wanna be unfair to me. Next thing I know, we got into another argument and i’m saying I hate him and he’s telling me he doesnt wanna even remember my face. 
So the next day, the friend and I had lunch and I told him what happened. Told him I didnt wanna be hurt anymore by my boyfriend and that I should just move on and focus on my own endeavors and leave him in the past. The friend agreed and was supportive and everything went on as usual. Except our feelings got stronger. 

Random sub-story, one day my dad calls when i’m at their house and before i ever hang up with my dad we always say “I love you” or “b7bak.” He would say b7bik and i would say I love you. Then my dad made a joke and said “ya fatima b7bik blengalizy wa  blarabie.” (I love you in English and Arabic) My friend heard that and then he used to suddenly say it to me at random times. He knew what he was saying, but it was like one of those things where he’d just repeat it cuz he thought he sounded cool saying something in Arabic. One day we went out and I got really mad at him for something and then avoided him for a few days and he texted me randomly and said “ya fatima, b7bik blengalizy wa blarabie” I was like AWWWW. Couldn’t be mad anymore. lol

So anyways, things were weird with my relationship; I was pretty much single. My mom was always traveling for her job, so i was always with my friend and his family. They really were like my second family. Even my friends noticed the bond between us. Questioning it all the time. One day I brought one of my gorgeous sudanese friends around and the guys were drooling over her. For some reason it made me jealous that even he found her attractive like that. Without saying anything, he could tell… So he calls out to my friend whos across the room and says in PERFECT arabic “Ream, ana b7b s7batik kateer.” Shocked me and her both! We continued to get closer, even wrote a special song together called soulmate when my boyfriend came back in the picture. 

My boyfriend started texting me again and i mean even though my feelings for my friend were evolving, i was still in love with my boyfriend. My boyfriend represented stability to me. He’s about 3.5 years older, very responsible, intelligent, goal oriented. We share the same values being from sudan and have mutual friends back home and here. My friend wanted to take things slow, which i did as well, but there was definitely a more stable feeling with my boyfriend since we’d been together for some time already and had so much similar. 

In the process of writing that soulmate song, my friend noticed we’d been texting and thats when things got really weird!

0 notes

Lately I feel confused. I’m not quite sure what I want anymore. I’m not sure where i’m going. I have no clear vision of whats ahead and it seems like every end of my life has a big question mark. I know i’m not alone, because many of my peers feel the same, but tonight i’m really assessing everything thats happened in the past year and need to vent. So for anyone that may have read my past posts, or if anyone follows my page, then you’d know that i’m in a discreet relationship with a sudanese guy. I say “discreet” but its really one of those things where a lot of people around us know, but we keep quiet about it because its awkward to bring up when everyone’s around or him and I are both together. Anyways, its been a tumultuous 2.5 years and I always find myself questioning where this is going to lead. We don’t live far from each other, but we attend different schools now so I dont see him often because of the whole “hiding it” thing. I maybe see him once or twice a month. We’re both very busy pursuing our goals. We never really go on “dates.” And sometimes we go long intervals without even talking. I know that might sound odd, but sadly thats the foundation thats been set. Now I just feel like we don’t communicate enough. I’ve always liked that we have our own individual pursuits and don’t act like lovey dovey couples that can’t be apart for more than 5 minutes but now we’re more distant. I know theres still a strong love and connection between us, but the easy breezy comfort level of saying anything around each other isn’t the same. Theres things I choose not to tell him, that most of my other friends know. I guess because I dont see him enough, I want to give off a perfect impression every time. He doesnt know that he almost lost me a few months ago. I dont wanna make this post too long so I’ll put the story in my next post.

1 note

I feel like being vulnerable on my blog tonight and discussing things that I never have before.

0 notes

In my dreams, I have a sister and she’s my best friend.

0 notes

Sometimes it feels nice to get dressed and go out, even if that means going out alone.

0 notes

Just saw him and I already miss him again. :(

1 note
Like this post
Like this post

I wish my relationship was just a sliiight bit normal.

1 note
Like this post

I think one of the biggest concerns for most African or middle east women is getting along with her in-laws, especially the mom. Its definitely something I worry about, because sometimes the mom or sisters can be cruel or they just dont mesh well. I’ve heard to many horror stories of bad in laws in Sudan. As far as i’m concerned, the bottom line is respect both ways. 

1 note
Like this post

I love how all my friends are telling me they saw my “in-laws” at the graduation.  lol -_- 

1 note
Like this post
Like this post